Just when we thought our store windows were once again safe from the sick fascination of doll-napping McCarthyists (that's Andrew, not Joe), it appears a new wave of crime is once again jeopardizing the world's mannequins. Forget the willowy Kim Cattrall version, though; this time it's a short, pudgy, apple-cheeked brunette causing all the trouble.No matter how hard I try not to, the cheery-looking "Peko-chan" makes me wonder if a wily Bob's Big Boy didn't slip it to Jennifer Tilly one night while she was busy with a Double Decker combo (is that such a stretch for the mistress of Chucky?). And the odd thing is (as if any of this were normal) Peko doesn't look even remotely Japanese. Then again, maybe that's the lure.
At any rate, she's getting to be in such demand that store owners briefly considered chaining her down. The plan was ostensibly nixed as "too cruel" (because why? Her plaster ankles might chafe? Shit, if Martha Stewart can wear one...), but I strongly suspect the real reason is it would make her more of a turn on to the sickos who find oversized 8-year-old statues hot in the first place.
The authorities don't seem to be doing much to discourage them, either, despite the public outcry (sure, we'll suffer the plight of the pygmie weasel, the ozone layer, and our shrinking fossil fuel supply, but gank a couple of dolls and the whole town turns out with pitchforks). One of her kidnappers escaped a nine-year prison sentence after essentially kicking the dirt with the toe of his Converse All Stars and mumbling, "Aw shucks, Wally. I didn't think it would hurt anybody." The store workers he maced, kicked and spray painted during his getaway, however, weren't so lucky.
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