I was on my second crossword puzzle of the evening when my eyes wandered up to the ‘Celebrity Birthdays’ section of the Abilene Reporter-News. The first entry to catch my eye was ‘Mary-Kate Olsen, actress, 20’ and the corresponding entry ‘Ashley Olsen, actress, 20’ immediately above it. But right there on top of the Twiggy Twins was a third entry; ‘Kat Denning, actress, 20’.
Curious as to whether this discovery could unearth a long-lost Olsen triplet, I clicked over to the International Movie Database and checked out her photos. While she can certainly pull off the gamine, doe-eyed allure of the famously underfed, her refreshingly normal head-to-body ratio would immediately nullify any claims of kinship to the skeletal starlets. I scanned her resume, which included several optimistically-named TV movies, a dozen guest appearances on CSI, a bit part in a Hilary Duff flick, and a supporting role in…wait -- a Bob Saget film?! Holy degrees of Kevin Bacon, Batman!
Whatever forecast for success the trio’s horoscope may have featured on the day they were born is subject to some scrutiny. Broad pronouncements of future fame and fortune are somewhat disputable -- playing backup dancer to a rabbit-toothed teen queen hardly compares to a producing a library of straight-to-VHS cuteness and the resulting bazillion-dollar paychecks. Visions of head shots and casting calls seem to have proved reliable. But predictions of a future as the offspring of an inept, foul-mouthed, Jewish comedian? Now that’s just creepy.
